Republican Debate Night Live Blog

Having Fox Business and The Wall Street Journal host the Republican debate is like hosting a compulsive shopper support group in Wal Mart.

Here’s what should happen: Fox News should host the Democratic debate and MSNBC host the Republicans.  And then Ben Carson and Lincoln Chafee can debate each other in front of a unicorn.

Hey, Mr. Rubio.  Higher education is already modernized.  It’s just too expensive because we have shrinking government funds.  Would you like to spend some more?

I think Ted Cruz is a secret communist who wants to destroy America from within the Oval office.  I mean, his name isn’t even Ted.

Obamacare is crony capitalism?  I thought it was socialist Nazi death panels.

Current least desirable job: debate moderator.  Part of the job description: “Must randomly press button to sound meaningless bell.”

Michael Bay did a Benghazi movie.  This is the true story you were never told.  With explosions.

“Whose [tax] plan would God endorse?” Um, no words.

It’s a flat tax system.  Except with rebates.

Rand Paul still uses pencil and paper to design tax plans.  How quaint.

It’s a flax tax system.  Except with exceptions. And no IRS.

How do you abolish the IRS and collect tax?  I guess the Department of Leprechauns will go door to door.

There should be three debates on debate night: the top-card debate, an undercard debate, and a demagogues panel.

Debate participants according to Trump: sweaty guy, low-energy guy, weak guy, guy who got lucky and found oil, Ted Cruz, look-at-that-face woman, guy who should not be on this stage, and President Trump.

Yay for military-industrial complex!

Really liked MSNBC’s forum format much better.  An argument in a bar has more decorum than this debate.

Trump just ended a protectionist tirade by saying “I love free trade!”  Hello Fox BUSINESS Network did any one of you ever take an economics class???

Getting really weary of typing the word “debate.”

HAHAHAHAHA Audi commercial where man loves his Audi more than his family!  It’s so funny because it’s true!  What a great way to sell a car!

Carson just gave his beauty pageant answer to the Middle East question.

Wait, did Bush just say Indiana was a caliphate?  I may have been eating Doritos and not heard him correctly.

Did Fiorina just say she personally knows everyone in the Middle East?

I keep thinking of Trump and Fiorina as the divorced mom and dad of this debate.

Can’t believe we’re talking about Russia as a threat again.  It seems so 80’s.

Kasich; “China doesn’t own the South China Sea.”  Hello?  It has their name on it?  Next you’re going to say we own part of the Gulf of Mexico. Sheesh.

Sorry, Neil Cavuto, I am not going to stick around. Time for bed.